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by Blender Dumbass

Aka: J.Y. Amihud. A Jewish by blood, multifaceted artist with experience in film-making, visual effects, programming, game development, music and more. A philosopher at heart. An activist for freedom and privacy. Anti-Paternalist. A user of Libre Software. Speaking at least 3 human languages. The writer and director of the 2023 film "Moria's Race" and the lead developer of it's game sequel "Dani's Race".

As pointed out by @Troler in his review of the original Nosferatu since 1922 a lot has changed. 102 years since that movie Robert Eggers delivers a modern take on the same story.

Nosferatu is a fork of Dracula. It is a vampire story, trying to avoid the clear vampire references to be more spooky or something. Eggers is known for taking spooky seriously, and therefor his version of Nosferatu is actually spooky. But I have an issue with his approach.

You know the most traumatizing movie I ever watched was Lars Von Trier's The House That Jack Built and the reason is very simple. Von Trier knows that showing death of children makes people uneasy.

To be honest it makes me more uneasy than most people. I remember seeing it in cinema and being in horror from the fact that audience can enjoy themselves and even laugh at mutilated corpses of little kids. True story. I was scared more from the audience, I suppose, than from the film itself. And then online everybody were talking about the poor duckling. Duckling! Are people really that evil, or are they just in denial, because how utterly insane the subject matter it?

Von Trier is not a stranger to this kind of topic. Nymphomaniac has a scene of a woman making an abortion on herself, with a clear view of the dead fetus. Antichrist is built upon a child falling to the death from a window. Hell even Melancholia, his probably most normie-friendly picture, ends with death of all people. And a clear shot of two women and one child being crashed to death by a wave of fire.

I understand Von Trier. He wants to make people uncomfortable. But the fuck Eggers does the same? It is also funny that both Eggers and Von Trier worked with Bjork.

In any case story-wise Nosferatu is nothing really that original. If you know any of the Dracula stories or any of the other Nosferatu, you know the gist. A guy is sent to a scary castle to get a man ( who is secretly a thousand year old Vampire ) to the city. And then a girl is in danger. And one needs to kill him with a stick to the heart. And there is a mad scientist character that is for some reason actually not that mad. In one version he is Van Helsing and in another he is Albin Eberhart von Franz or Professor Bulwer. You know the gist.

I like the acting in this film actually quite a lot. Of course the movie got to have Willem Dafoe and of course he plays Albin Eberhart von Franz, or Van Helsing. I mean of course! Aaron Taylor-Johnson ( aka Kick Ass ) is in here. He is the one suffering from Eggers imitating Von Trier. I mean he shows some emotional stuff. I would not say Lily-Rose Depp is anything Jack Sparrow like in this film. She goes into a completely different, quite daring place. And I would guess poor Johnny Depp would not be able to watch this movie. At least not without cringe. She does some pornographic shit here. I mean Eggers is imitating Von Trier, if you know what I mean.

Being an imitator of Von Trier just casting Bjork ( in a different movie ) and Dafoe wasn't enough. He needed a Skarsgård. In one movie he chose Alexandr. In this one he went with Bill Skarsgård ( aka the clown from the "It" remake ). Which makes me wonder if Eggers is actually the kind of guy that would be part of the laughing audience I was afraid of, when watching The House That Jack Built.

Speaking of which. We have to praise the amazing Adéla Hesová and Milena Konstantinova who are totally and utterly fine. They are alive. It was just pretend play. The scene in question is fake. It's CGI or some other effect. I wont look at that shot again to figure it out. But good job girls, you made me hate the idea of watching this movie. Which is a complement, if you know what I mean... Damn Eggers! Damn Von Trier!

Oh yeah and the main character is played by Nicholas Hoult.

In any case. If there is a website to check if a dog is dying, there should definitely be one to check if a child is dying.

Happy Hacking!!!

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