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by Blender Dumbass

Aka: J.Y. Amihud. A Jewish by blood, multifaceted artist with experience in film-making, visual effects, programming, game development, music and more. A philosopher at heart. An activist for freedom and privacy. Anti-Paternalist. A user of Libre Software. Speaking at least 3 human languages. The writer and director of the 2023 film "Moria's Race" and the lead developer of it's game sequel "Dani's Race".

In my review of Ambulance I argued that Michael Bay is the Lars Von Trier of action. And now I gonna argue that Pain & Gain ( his 2013 crime comedy ) is the most Lars Von Trier he ever been.

It is unfortunate that people who are into Lars Von Trier usually avoid watching Michael Bay films. Bay has an aura of non-sophisticated pop-culture shlock to him. Let me tell you something: In the whole film Pain & Gain has only 1 true explosion. ( There is a second one going right after, in the background from the same source, but that's besides the point ). The point is, I can imagine this film being regarded as high art in cinema circles if Bay had not directed Transformers.

The main dramatic complication this film has is one Von Trier uses in The House That Jack Built. The main character is the bad guy, yet the movie is trying to argue his side of the picture. The movie is set from his point of view. Making it interesting for the audience. This one is not an anti-hero type character. He is not a misunderstood good guy who does bad things. But he really wants to be one. And the movie, being rather sophisticated is trying to make the audience believe he is. And then by the end question the audience themselves: what the hell is wrong with you people?

The acting in this film is top-notch. Yes it is over the top in a lot of places, but so is the story, so if they underacted everything, by acting regularly, it would not have even worked. I would even argue ( or agree with a lot of people ) that this movie showcases the best acting in Dwayne Johnson's career. The Rock is fucking good in this movie. I even teared up by the end, because arguably he is the goodest of the bad guys. His performance is so layered, yes so unmistakably Michael Bay raw, that I don't know why didn't Bay work with him more.

On the other hand Bay did work with Mark Wahlberg, who's playing the main psychopath in the story, twice again already. And both of those times in a Transformers movie. Wahlberg is good in this film. He doesn't go as emotional into things like Dwayne "the Rock" Johnson, and therefor is more one note. But psychopaths don't feel that many emotions anyway. And the palette of emotions he shows is exactly the palette you would see a psychopath show. Just during a golden-hour and shot in slow motion.

The Anthony Mackie and Rebel Wilson love story, while is Bayhem!ed a bit, is very touching actually. Yes the whole thing is hilariously about a penis. And yes Michael uses his old pal Peter Stormare to set the scene for them in a brief cameo. But their falling, in love and then her realizing he is a criminal and not knowing whether to ditch him or not is quite emotional and quite rich. Even in the very end when she announces that she divorced him, she still attacks the next woman that might have had something with him. This is fucking touching, man. This is some raw stuff.

I do believe that if Lars Von Trier had made the film it would have been properly unwatchable. Because the man has issues psychologically that might have pushed him into exploring the darkest aspects with more of a straight face. While Bay is using his usual techniques of Bayhem! to present everything that's happening in the film, resulting in something so over the top and insane, that he needs to remind the viewers towards the end again that the film is based on an actual true story that really fucking happened.

Which in my opinion made the movie into a fucking masterpiece. I know I suck Bay's cock in every review I do of his films. But damn! I believe the man is not getting enough praise. In a 100 years from now, when the context of the Michael Bay will disappear, people will wake up one day and realize what a fucking genius this man is.

Happy Hacking!!!


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