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Red Heat 1988 is unintentionally funny for those who speak Russian
January 10, 2026๐ 9
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by Blender Dumbass
Aka: J.Y. Amihud. A Jewish by blood, multifaceted artist with experience in film-making, visual effects, programming, game development, music and more. A philosopher at heart. An activist for freedom and privacy. Anti-Paternalist. A user of Libre Software. Speaking at least 3 human languages. The writer and director of the 2023 film "Moria's Race" and the lead developer of it's game sequel "Dani's Race".
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Our main character Ivan Danko ( Arnold Schwarzenegger ) is introduced with a shot showing his magnificent muscular butt-cheeks, right before a fight breaks out between naked men in the snow, all trying to scream words and sentences in Russian, sounding utterly stupid doing so. That is how Red Heat, a 1988 Walter Hill movie, begins.
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As for an action-film writer and director, I agree with people like Tarantino, that claim that Walter Hill is up there with the greats. But I would disagree that Red Heat is one of his best work. Comparing it to The Driver or even Streets of Fire, you can see a stark contrast. The Driver is outright legendary. Streets of Fire is oozing with rhythm and flow. Red Heat? Well... It is your standard dumb 80s Hollywood action film starring Arnie Schwarzy.
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The film isn't bad. The writing specifically hits a lot of very good notes that make the film satisfactory. And Walter Hill is not a terrible director. It just seems like he didn't really give a damn about this movie. There is not a lot of attempt to try and craft something utterly cinematic. There is no Walter Hill flow. There is a cool ass unique chase scene in the end of it, but it is pale in comparison to utter action-mastery that Hill demonstrated with chase scenes in The Driver. The shots in Red Heat are disjointed and the cuts are hard to follow. Sometimes the movie gives you a clear shot of some very nice action beat where everything is clear. But those are few and far between.
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Acting is not the best in this film. The only actor who seems to stand out as trying his best is Jim Belushi who plays this annoying kind of Chicago cop. His character is a bit obnoxious, but his acting is very good.
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Gina Gershon is in it, making me think of films by Paul Verhoeven. Specifically Showgirls that feels like a masterpiece compared to this movie. And Verhoeven also did a movie with Arnie Schwarzy called Total Recall that is kind of tonally similar on many levels to Red Heat.
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To be frank though, the director ( who probably doesn't speak Russian ) probably couldn't feel the falseness of some of the Russian language scenes. And I'm not even talking about accents. The accents in this movie are outright comedic. They are so funny it is beyond hilarious. And it was very entertaining for me ( I speak Russian fluently since I was a kid ). Especially Arnold Schwarzenegger speaking ( or trying to speak ) Russian is utter comedy gold.
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Happy Hacking!!!
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