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by Blender Dumbass
Aka: J.Y. Amihud. A Jewish by blood, multifaceted artist with experience in film-making, visual effects, programming, game development, music and more. A philosopher at heart. An activist for freedom and privacy. Anti-Paternalist. A user of Libre Software. Speaking at least 3 human languages. The writer and director of the 2023 film "Moria's Race" and the lead developer of it's game sequel "Dani's Race".
7 Minute Read
What is it with Jerry Bruckheimer of the late 90s and early 2000s and with Nicolas Cage? First in 96 we get Michael Bay's The Rock. A year later in 97 Jerry puts Cage in Simon West's Con Air. And then in 2000 Dominic Sena under the supervision of Bruckheimer puts Nicolas out of his Cage and into a driver's seat of 1967 Ford Shelby GT500, in the subject of this review, the loose remake of H. B. Halicki 1974 film Gone in 60 Seconds.
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26% Rotten Tomatoes rating doesn't seem like a good indicator. The film must have been stupidly terrible. Right? Well if you read my other reviews you sometimes may see that ratings are not necessarily the best predictor of enjoyment. A lot of the "best movies" are dull as fuck. And a lot of the "worst" ones are entertaining as hell. And Gone in 60 Seconds is not an exception. Yes it is a bit rough. But so is Con Air and so is The Rock and so are most Jerry Bruckheimer produced films. But Jerry Bruckheimer is Jerry Bruckheimer and Jerry Bruckheimer has a very fucking good sense for entertainment value.
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Like in Con Air this film has an ensemble cast. We obviously get Nick Cage showing us the unbearable weight of his massive talent. We get Robert Duvall who helped Cage's uncle Francis Ford Coppola win some Oscars on The Godfather films. We get Angelina Jolie who you may know from other Angelina Jolie movies. We get Giovanni Ribisi who worked with Steven Spielberg on Saving Private Ryan and will work with James Cameron on Avatar. We get Will Patton who had the most emotional arc in another Bruckheimer movie, Michael Bay's Armageddon.
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We get an evil British character in the form of Christopher Eccleston who played an evil British character in a Danny Boyle's 28 Days Later. We get a nice British character ( that sometimes can be a little intimidating ) in a form of Vinnie Jones who you may know from early Guy Ritchie films like Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels and Snatch. Which is by the way an interesting Bruckheimer moment here. I discussed on my review of Bad Boys how Michael Bay apparently got inspired by Tarantino to change the dialogue in the movie. And that prompted Bruckheimer to actually hire Tarantino for dialogue touch-ups for Tony Scott's Crimson Tide and Bay's The Rock ( giving us a film where Michael Bay directs Tarantino dialogue spoken by Nicolas fucking Cage ). But then Tarantino apparently had enough of this job and quit working on other people's movies. So poor Jerry has a problem now.
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In that same time, on the other side of the globe, young Guy Ritchie was imitating not just the dialogue of Tarantino, but his entire writing style altogether with his first few films. Which coincidentally are also starring... you guessed it, Vinnie Jones, who gets then hired by Bruckheimer, probably chasing some remains of the Tarantino sauce. Even if it's Pepsi.
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But the cast doesn't stop there. We get Scott Caan who appears throughout the Steven Soderbergh's Ocean's Eleven franchise. We get Timothy Olyphant who actually ended up working with Tarantino on Once Upon The Time In Hollywood. We get Chi McBride who worked with the legendary Alex Proyas alongside Bad Boy's Will Smith on I, Robot. We get Frances Fisher who worked with Cameron on Titanic and we even get Arye Gross who played the husband character Howard Marks in 2002 Steven Spielberg epic ( which ended up being the cause for Michael Bay to quit Bruckheimer and join Spielberg ) called Minority Report.
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The plot of the movie is simple: our protagonist needs to GTA 50 rare cars in one night, for a mafia boss, unless he wants his brother to die. It feels a little bit like Ocean's Eleven heist, but not because of some big game money ambitions. The reason is personal, in an attempt to paint the characters as morally right. Maybe that was what the critics thought was kind of weak. The entire cast of thieves are either inexperienced teenagers who didn't start doing anything illegal yet. Therefor they are innocent. Or old car thieves who decided long time ago that this sort of thing isn't for them. And now are forced to do it, to save a live of somebody near and dear to them. Perhaps the movie could work emotionally a lot better if the protagonists just wanted to steal those cars, because they just wanted to steal those cars.
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The director Dominic Sena is actually quite good. The opening sequence moves with pretty compositions. And the action in this film is a bit less rough than the stuff Bay and West were putting out in those days. I do think, though, there is one major flaw to Dominic Sena. He tries to take the characters seriously and then goes for a Bruckheimer action scene with them, with a cool techno track playing as the characters chase each other or something. This doesn't quite work. Bay uses a more traditional score which works a lot better. At least at that time. If you look at something like 6 Underground ( a fairly recent Michael Bay film with a very mature action direction from Bay ), you can hear him use a mixture of no-music, a score or a known pop-song, for the most interesting moments. Dominic Sena in Gone in 60 Seconds just uses a bad techno-beat bullshit which is just cringe to listen to.
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There are good music action scenes in the film. The ending with the Ford Mustang is scored properly. And the main moment of that sequence ( the jump ) has some proper tension building score which explodes into a crescendo of orchestral magic. Good stuff. But sometimes you just roll your eyes from the tonal whiplash the music gives you in this movie.
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The movie is far from being a bad film. It doesn't have this bad movie vibe, that something like Ultraviolet, or The Room might have. It looks and feels like a proper summer blockbuster ( from that time ). And yet there is this feeling of slight weirdness to it. I cannot put it into words. Some shots and sometimes entire sequences feel a bit strange. I have this gut feeling that something about it doesn't quite work. But I can't see what exactly.
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Perhaps it is the lack of tension building, for most of the action scenes. We just go-go-go, but why be excited about it? Good film-makers will always build toward something like this, even a little bit. Here oftentimes we have nothing at all. The action just starts out of nowhere. It doesn't mean that the movie isn't ever building to anything. It surely does. But not as well as other Bruckheimer films. Not as well as Simon West did in Con Air. And surely not as well as Michael Bay does.
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Happy Hacking!!!
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Pearl Harbor 2001 made me cry for 3 hours straight
![[thumbnail]](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/3/3c/Pearl_harbor_movie_poster.jpg/250px-Pearl_harbor_movie_poster.jpg)
Blender Dumbass
π 16 π¬ 2
In my review of Bad Boys II I talked about how Michael Bay needed to discharge from Pearl Harbor and do a properly Bayhem! movie. This speculation of mine is largely based on some stories from the set of this movie, where it looked like Bay tried to actually make a properly directed film in the very beginning and then suddenly snapped and started setting up Bayhem! shots out of nowhere in the middle of production. And when people pointed that out to him he told them to "Shut the fuck up" and that he "knows what he is doing".
#PearlHarbor #MichaelBay #movies #film #review #cinemastodon
Schindler's List 1993 and how Spielberg was perfect to tell this story
![[thumbnail]](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/3/38/Schindler%27s_List_movie.jpg)
Blender Dumbass
π 27 β€ 5 π 1 π¬ 1
As a kid I did not understand the need for movies like Schindler's List. Growing up Jewish I knew about the Holocaust. I knew about the Nazis and heard stories about stuff they did. But movies in my childhood brain were firmly just a form of entertainment. What entertainment is there if you are watching people suffer? Yet as I explain in my other article at about 14 I got to a rather strange point in my life, when everything dark and real became important. That's when I saw Schindler's List for the first time. That's when a film that is not made for entertainment suddenly started making sense.
#schindlerslist #oscarschindler #stevenspielberg #spielberg #holocaust #film #review #movies #cinemastodon
The Terminator would not have happened if not for Rear Projection
![[thumbnail]](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/6/6d/The_Terminator.png/250px-The_Terminator.png)
Blender Dumbass
π 11 β€ 1 π¬ 2
So James Cameron is in Italy, having a fever. I mean of course he is. He was just involved in a nightmare project that is Piranha II. While there he has this fever dream of a nightmarish scenario. A metal skeleton coming out of a fire.
#Terminator #TheTerminator #JamesCameron #film #review #movies #cinemastodon
Together 2025 is yet another Romantic Comedy disguised as a Horror film
![[thumbnail]](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/e/e0/Together_film_poster.jpg/250px-Together_film_poster.jpg)
Blender Dumbass
π 24 β€ 1 π¬ 2
I see a trend lately with films like Spontaneous where it seems like the writer / director is trying to do a romantic comedy, but knows it is not going to sell, so the movie is sold as a horror film instead. Michael Shanks's 2025 film Together starring Dave Franco and Alison Brie is another such film.
#together #horror #film #review #movies #cinemastodon #davefranco #alisonbrie
Dissecting Chernobyl 2019 episode 1
![[thumbnail]](/pictures/user_upload/Troler/J0QVIYWKZ8DDTSDQ.png)
Troler
π 7
This is why I'm going to speak about the Nuclear Power Plant of V. I. Lenin 2019 historical drama television miniseries called Chernobyl. But It'll be done differently. There'll be no description of how the screenplay was adapted, only the plot and script itself.
#HildurGuΓ°nadΓ³ttir #JohanRenck #JaredHarris #Chernobyl #HBO #miniseries #CraigMazin #screenplay #disection #film #review #movies #cinemastodon
Mandy 2018 tries to out-do the weirdness of Only God Forgives
![[thumbnail]](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/9/9a/Mandy_%282018_film%29.png)
Blender Dumbass
π 13 β€ 1 π¬ 2
In 2019 on the Cannes film festival director Nicolas Winding Refn ( the director of the 2013 film Only God Forgives ) released episodes 4 and 5 of his ( then ) new multi-episode picture Too Old To Die Young. Episode 5 titled "The Fool" contains a car chase scene. Some argue it is one of the most romantic car chases in cinematic history. The joke is, that the car chase is set to a romantic Barry Manilow's 1974 hit "Mandy", making the juxtaposition rather hilarious in nature. But given the ass-born theory specialist that I am, I must suggest an interesting twist to this whole ordeal. During the principal photography of the first episode of Too Old To Die Young another film-maker Panos Cosmatos released a film, strangely similar in style to whatever Refn is doing. And his film was called Mandy. We can theorize that maybe Refn responded, in his strange way, recognizing the stylistic similarities, so to speak.
#mandy #nicolascage #panoscosmatos #nwr #horror #film #review #movies #cinemastodon
Is Strange Days 1995 about James Cameron's personal life?
![[thumbnail]](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/0/0c/Strangedays.jpeg)
Blender Dumbass
π 17 π¬ 2
So in 1989 James Cameron divorces his second wife, the film producer Gale Anne Hurd, opening for her an ability to marry Brian De Palma that just divorced Nancy Allen. The same year Cameron marries Kathryn Bigelow ( the director of 1995 Strange Days ). They make the 1991 Point Break kind of together. But then that same year in 1991 they divorce. Yet, his script Strange Days about strange love dynamics and stuff ends up being actually made by Bigelow in 1995 ( four years after their divorce ). Hm...
#strangedays #KathrynBigelow #jamescameron #film #review #movies #cinemastodon
Was the 2014 "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" directed by Michael Bay?
![[thumbnail]](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/0/09/Teenage_Mutant_Ninja_Turtles_film_July_2014_poster.jpg/250px-Teenage_Mutant_Ninja_Turtles_film_July_2014_poster.jpg)
Blender Dumbass
π 16 β€ 1 π¬ 4
While Steven Spielberg was producing a Michael Bay film Transformers 4, Michael Bay was producing a Jonathan Liebesman 2014 film Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. And like with a Spielberg-produced film The Poltergeist by Tobe Hooper about which people started claiming that Spielberg himself directed the movie in question. With the 2014 TMNT people started claiming Michael Bay was the actual director on this film. It is absolutely and utterly poetic that both Tobe Hooper and Jonathan Liebesman also made movies in the The Texas Chainsaw Massacre franchise.
#tmnt #michaelbay #film #review #movies #cinemastodon
Foxtrot 2017 is a weird surrealistic tale
![[thumbnail]](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/d/db/Foxtrot_%282017_film%29.jpg/250px-Foxtrot_%282017_film%29.jpg)
Blender Dumbass
π 13
Watching Foxtrot ( a film by Samuel Maoz ) I felt a strange feeling. The film moves and feels like surrealistic horror movies by directors like Nicolas Winding Refn and Panos Cosmatos, yet the film is not a horror. It is a drama.
#foxtrot #film #review #movies #cinemastodon
Eddington 2025 has some cool plotting actually
![[thumbnail]](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/2/25/Eddington_poster.jpg/250px-Eddington_poster.jpg)
Blender Dumbass
π 12
Ari Aster quickly becomes one of the more interesting film-makers out there. And this is sad, because his 2 latest movies were commercial disappointments, while being excellent pieces of film-making. I already reviewed his anxiety epic Beau Is Afraid, which was a flop, while being a stellar piece of mastery over tension. And with Eddington ( which also flopped ) I'm starting to think that Aster has a marketing problem.
#ariaster #eddington #JoaquinPhoenix #PedroPascal #EmmaStone #AustinButler #film #review #movies #cinemastodon
Machete Kills 2013 is trying to beat Spaceballs
![[thumbnail]](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/0/04/Machete_Kills.jpg/250px-Machete_Kills.jpg)
Blender Dumbass
π 10 β€ 1 π¬ 3
As I observed 2 hours ago in my review of Machete, the first film is about US politics of 2025. The second movie Machete Kills is something else entirely. If the first film is a semi-parody of exploitation films. This one is a full on spoof comedy, parodying not just exploitation films, but other things too. By the end of the film, the bullshit is so absurd, that you cannot stop laughing. And then Elon Musk appears out of nowhere to send Machete into space.
#MacheteKills #RobertRodriguez #film #review #movies #cinemastodon
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