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Transformers 5 is Too Good to be Good

January 12, 2025

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#transformers #MichaelBay #film #review #movies #cinemastodon #kingArthur

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[avatar]by Blender Dumbass

Aka: J.Y. Amihud. A Jewish by blood, multifaceted artist with experience in film-making, visual effects, programming, game development, music and more. A philosopher at heart. An activist for freedom and privacy. Anti-Paternalist. A user of Libre Software. Speaking at least 3 human languages. The writer and director of the 2023 film "Moria's Race" and the lead developer of it's game sequel "Dani's Race".


From 1 years ago.
Information or opinions might not be up to date.


3 Minute Read



In my review of Alien Romulus I briefly mentioned Isabela Merced and said that you might have known her from Michael Bay's Transformers 5. So let's talk about Transformers 5.

There is this satisfaction when it comes to animation, that I know from personal experience where the longer you work on a shot, or a sequence, the more details there is in the animation, the more satisfying it is to later just watch this insane level of effort simply wash over you one frame after another.

This is why I think Avatar movies are so good. And this is most definitely a quality of Michael Bay's Transformers movies. And perhaps the most insane feeling of grandiose work I felt from any Transformers film, was strangely enough from Transformers 5 specifically.

Don't get me wrong, this movie is not a masterpiece. It is probably one of the stupidest blockbusters out there. I guess Patric H Willems puts it best:

It feels like he just filmed two and a half hours of stuff he thought would be fun, including a lengthy prologue about King Arthur and Merlin. And then a team of editors attempted to assemble it into something resembling a movie.


But boy how much dopamine Michael Bay can induce in a person. The film is so stupid, but it assaults your senses so much with so much cool shit, that the movie becomes so good it's too good to be good.

I ( probably ) have ADHD. And this kind of over-bombardment of intense details everywhere makes my brain very happy. A lot of people tend to see Bay's movies as visual noise. And I get why. But I really really dig this kind of stuff.

The only serious problem I see with the film is the lack of the two new characters played by Jerrod Carmichael and Isabela Merced. We have stupid amount of Mark Wahlberg who is not trying to act because he understands what kind of movie it is. Laura Haddock tries to act and is surprisingly good, despite the stupidity. There is almost enough of Anthony Hopkins, though more would not hurt. And there is a good amount of this new robot butler character, voiced by Jim Carter who is just really fun to watch.

I know that the writers probably didn't intend it to be the case, but Bay made out of Isabela Merced a fucking star. He doesn't let his camera to be ageist. He frames her the same way he would have framed an adult actress. And that gives her so much oomph I just really wish there was a spinoff movie just about her. Or like if Wahlberg could be replaced by her. Like there is not enough of her. And I want more. But there isn't. How dare you, Michael Bay? It doesn't help that there is not enough of her in Alien Romulus either.

Does that mean I have a new movie marathon? ... Hm...

Anyway...

Happy Hacking!!!



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[icon reviews]Transformers is Good if You Take it Seriously

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[avatar]  Blender Dumbass

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I decided to re-watch the first Transformers film today, but differently. Instead of indulging in it as mindless entertainment, I decided I want to actually view it seriously, as I would with somebody like Steven Spielberg, who, by the way, was an executive producer on the film.


#transformers #MichaelBay #film #review #movies #cinemastodon #ShiaLabeouf #MeganFox #VFX #CGI


[icon reviews]Transformers 3 has only 1 flaw

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[avatar]  Blender Dumbass

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Megan Fox. Megan Fox is the only flaw of Michael Bay's Transformers: Dark of the Moon. The script by Ehren Kruger ( who wrote Top Gun: Maverick and F1 ) was written with Mikaela Banes ( Megan Fox ) as the girlfriend of Shia LaBeouf's character Sam. But because of some drama behind the scenes ( which involved Steven Spielberg for some reason ), she ultimately dropped out of the project, in very late stages of pre-production. Forcing the team to quickly patch her character out in a very forced and obvious way, replacing her with Rosie Huntington-Whiteley who worked with Bay on Victoria Secret commercials. That ultimately made the film very confusing, emotionally.


#transformers #transformersdarkofthemoon #michaelbay #film #review #cinemastodon #movies


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