How did we get to Age Verification?
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by Blender Dumbass
Aka: J.Y. Amihud. A Jewish by blood, multifaceted artist with experience in film-making, visual effects, programming, game development, music and more. A philosopher at heart. An activist for freedom and privacy. Anti-Paternalist. A user of Libre Software. Speaking at least 3 human languages. The writer and director of the 2023 film "Moria's Race" and the lead developer of it's game sequel "Dani's Race".
Age Verification is the new anti-terrorism. The trojan-horse of legal bullshit designed to strip the public from their rights, claiming it is for the greater good. But why this? Why now? I suppose I want to process the way I see it via a play. It will have very strange names, like Publicus ( that represents the public ). c:0 ↩ Reply
INT. METAPHORICAL ROOM OF POLITICAL DISCUSSION. DAY AND NIGHT. c:1
Enter DEMOCRATICUS. He looks like the husband of whoever it is sculpted into the Statue of Liberty. Publicus is there waiting for him. ↩ Reply
In this world each Publicus is equal. We all have the same rights and obey the same laws, that enforce our rights.
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Welcome, Democraticus. You truly speak the words of wisdom.
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Enter ADOLFUS. He has a very stupid mustache right in the center of his face. ↩ Reply
Giving Publicus equal rights makes the position of me, Adolfus, uninteresting, Democraticus. How am I suppose to enjoy being the ruler, if the people I rule are equal to me?
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You are evil.
c:2 ↩ Reply
No I'm not.
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Yes you are. Publicus are, and should always be - equal.
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Ah... How about... ah... I don't know. Order?
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What?
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What would scare the criminals from crime if there is no gun pointing at them from above?
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And who would stop the one pointing the gun from committing the crime?
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Here, you see, you just made an illogical situation. A catch 22, Democraticus. Or you just like criminals too much. While what I say is: let's allow some people to break the law, so they could be the ones with the guns to stop the criminals. No logic broken.
c:3 ↩ Reply
You are evil.
c:2 ↩ Reply
Stop calling me evil, you, son of a bitch.
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What did you call me?
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You, son of a bitch!
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Fuck you, Adolfus!
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Fuck you!
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And Democraticus and Adolfus fought a war. In which Democraticus won, because Publicus liked Democraticus more than they liked Adolfus. So Publicus fought alongside Democraticus. Adolfus didn't stand a chance. c:4 ↩ Reply
But little did they know, Adolfus didn't die. He changed his name to ENSHITTIFICATUS. And came back years later to try again. ↩ Reply
Enter COMPUTICUS. A person with big glasses and a buttoned shirt. ↩ Reply
Hello, there, Computicus.
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Hi.
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Please, tell us about yourself.
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I'm a son of Mathematicus and Electronicus. I'm on a quest to find Publicus.
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I'm right here. Why do you need me?
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My parents set me on the quest to be useful to you, my lord, Publicus.
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What a gentleman. I love you, Computicus.
c:5 ↩ Reply
Pss..
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Everybody got confused for a second. They cannot see where the sound came from. ↩ Reply
Pss... Computicus?
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Yes, who is it?
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I know what you need to do, Computicus, to be useful for Publicus.
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Who is it?
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Enter Enshittificatus. It is Adolfus with a cheap paper mask that looks like 💩. c:6 ↩ Reply
I'm your friend, Computicus. I'm your friend as well, Publicus and Democraticus. You're might together defeated the evil, evil Adolfus. But I've been overseas and overseas I saw something worse than Adolfus.
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What did you see?
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I saw Communismus.
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What is it?
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You don't want to know. Their Publicus, they call it - Comradicus, wanted to be equal, like you, Publicus. But they allowed Communismus to take charge at trying to make this happen. He pretends to help Comradicus, while in reality he is as bad as Adolfus.
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Oh no.
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Yes. Unfortunately, yes. Comradicus was tricked into serving the Communismus. But I know how to prevent it here. Computicus?
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Yes.
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You said you are the son of Mathematicus?
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Yes, I am.
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Therefore you are the brother of Capitalismus?
c:7 ↩ Reply
Yes, unfortunately, Capitalismus is my brother.
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Why unfortunately? As far as I know Capitalismus hates Communismus.
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Does he?
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Yes. To pretend that Communismus cares for their Comradicus, they kicked Capitalismus out. Now Capitalismus is very angry on Communismus. We should invite Capitalismus. And work together to defeat the evil, evil Communismus.
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Maybe, he's right?
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You say, Enshittificatus, that this Communismus only pretends to care for Comradicus?
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Yes, only pretends.
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I suppose I hate Communismus myself then. This is awful.
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The enemy of your enemy is your friend, Democraticus. Let's invite Capitalismus.
c:8 ↩ Reply
Enter Capitalismus. It is a puppet in the hand of Enshittificatus. But because Enshittificatus wears a mask, we don't see him talk when Capitalismus talks. So we believe that Capitalismus is its own entity. c:9 ↩ Reply
Alright. I know what we need to do. Publicus?
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Yes?
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You want to have good life, don't you?
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Yes!
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Well, I know how to make it work, without making DEMOCRATICUS mad.
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What? Why should I be mad?
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A moment of awkward silence. ↩ Reply
You want people to be equal, right?
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Yes. That's is the idea.
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Well, how about giving all Publicus an equal opportunity to live as well as the Publicus wants? Sound good?
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Sounds good!
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Equal opportunity?
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Yes.
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Okay... Let's hear what you have to say.
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Let's pretend that there is this thing called Copyrighticus. We can then pair Computicus with Copyrighticus.
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What does this Copyrighticus do?
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It gives you rights, my friend, to make your life better. To make the life of those Publicus that make more of you, Computicus, better.
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I like this idea.
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I'll think about it.
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Wait!
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Everybody looked around. They cannot see who's voice was that. ↩ Reply
Enter RICARDICUS. He looks like a fat man with long hair, wearing reddish shirt. c:10 ↩ Reply
Wait, Computicus. Don't listen to Capitalismus, it's a trap.
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Who are you?
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I'm Ricardicus. I'm one of the Publicus, making you, Computicus. I say that Copyrighticus is a trap.
c:11 ↩ Reply
Why is it a trap?
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Look who proposes it. It is a mere puppet in the hands of Enshittificatus.
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So?
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And Enshittificatus is actually you're sworn enemy, Democraticus. It is Adolfus, wearing a cheap mask.
c:12 ↩ Reply
Look, what's that!
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Everybody looked away from Ricardicus. They see a horrifying scene. A building is falling down. An airliner just smashed into it. ↩ Reply
Quick, Computicus, implement Copyrighticus. Crime is happening! Crime is happening!
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I'm so confused. What is going on here?
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Quick, Computicus, we need to find the criminals! It is an emergency!
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Where do I look?
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The criminals are hiding among the Publicus. Search Publicus.
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Oh god. What? Where?
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Computicus is searching Publicus. ↩ Reply
This is so scary. Please, Computicus, find the criminal faster. I don't want to die.
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This is a trap!
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I don't want to die.
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What the fuck is going on here?!
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Yes!!! Yes!!!
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Everybody immediately calmed down. ↩ Reply
What?
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What?
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What?
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I told you. It is a trap.
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Democraticus comes over to Enshittificatus and tears off the cheap paper 💩 mask. It is Adolfus. ↩ Reply
Adolfus!
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Ah... Wait... Computicus...
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What?
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How about we ah... pretend to help Publicus, by searching Publicus somehow... Let's call this one Artificial Intelligenticus?
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What about Copyrighticus?
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Forget Copyrighticus...
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Well...
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Wait, Adolfus. The Enshittificatus is you. Therefore Capitalismus is also you. Therefore Computicus is you.
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What?
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Don't lie to us, Computicus, you are on the side of Enshittificatus. He tricked us and you were the pawn in this trickery.
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What is going on? Computicus is not...
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Shut up! Shut up! Oh... what should we do?
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Enter AGE VERIFICATUS. It is Adolfus again, this time wearing a different mask. ↩ Reply
Publicus, Publicus, listen to me.
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What?
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Your children. Think of your children, Publicus. They are slaves to Computicus.
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Right.
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AGE VERIFICATUS picks up the torn Enshittificatus mask. ↩ Reply
We should protect the children from the evil Computicus.
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What?
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It's a trap, it's fucking Adolfus again!
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Fuck this shit, I'm out!
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Troler
c:0 March 12, 2026 The trojan-horse of legal bullshit designed to strip the public from their rights, claiming it is for the greater good
⤴ ViewImproper terminology, it's legal horseshit.
Troler
c:1 March 12, 2026 INT. METAPHORICAL ROOM OF POLITICAL DISCUSSION. DAY AND NIGHT.
⤴ ViewAh yes, my favorite time of day, dawn and dusk.
Troler
c:2 March 12, 2026 You are evil.
⤴ ViewThe argument to all arguments.
Google said don't be evil, but they're now evil, therefor anything they do is evil.
Troler
c:3 March 12, 2026 While what I say is: let's allow some people to break the law, so they could be the ones with the guns to stop the criminals.
⤴ ViewBasically, if no one catches you, you didn't commit a crime. And if you are the law, then you never break it.
Troler
c:4 March 12, 2026 Publicus liked Democraticus more than they liked Adolfus. So Publicus fought alongside Democraticus. Adolfus didn't stand a chance
⤴ ViewThat's historically inaccurate. Adolfus rose to power by pleading to Publicus, saying if he does not become the leader, the Parliament is going to be dissolved. Chronicles note, when Adolfus came to power, the Parliament was dissolved. Heil Adolfus!
Troler
c:5 March 12, 2026 What a gentleman. I love you, Computicus.
⤴ ViewIn a Platonic or pedastric sense?
Troler
c:6 March 12, 2026 It is Adolfus with a cheap paper mask that looks like 💩.
⤴ Viewhttps://www.davidrevoy.com/article1116/generated-lessons
Troler
c:7 March 12, 2026 Therefore you are the brother of Capitalismus?
⤴ ViewNow I want to know the entire family tree of everyone
Troler
c:8 March 12, 2026 The enemy of your enemy is your friend, Democraticus. Let's invite Capitalismus.
⤴ ViewStalinus hated Adolfus and Adolfus was evil, therefor Stalinus was good.
Troler
c:9 March 12, 2026 Enter Capitalismus. It is a puppet in the hand of Enshittificatus. But because Enshittificatus wears a mask, we don't see him talk when Capitalismus talks. So we believe that Capitalismus is its own entity.
⤴ ViewIf Capitalismus is a puppet, then how can Computicus have him as a brother?
Troler
c:10 March 12, 2026 Enter RICARDICUS. He looks like a fat man with long hair, wearing reddish shirt.
⤴ ViewEnter a hippie
Troler
c:11 March 12, 2026 I'm Ricardicus. I'm one of the Publicus, making you, Computicus. I say that Copyrighticus is a trap.
⤴ ViewEven in fiction Ricardicus has problems with language.
Troler
c:12 March 12, 2026 And Enshittificatus is actually you're sworn enemy, Democraticus. It is Adolfus, wearing a cheap mask.
⤴ ViewAnd consistently at that.
Troler
c:13 March 12, 2026 Don't lie to us, Computicus, you are on the side of Enshittificatus. He tricked us and you were the pawn in this trickery.
⤴ ViewIf Computicus' brother is Capitalismus, then he was on the side of Adolfus.
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