Armageddon is... fuck, I LOVE MICHAEL BAY

  Blender Dumbass
👁 3 💬 0


It is rumored that Michael Bay's Armageddon is shown periodically at NASA to the people working there as a test of how much inaccuracies they can spot. The movie is fucking stupid if you want to think about anything remotely realistic. The science... what science? The film has never heard of it. The characters are fucking degenerates. The lack of tone is only rivaled by Nicolas Winding Refn interviews. And yet somehow I cannot find myself hating on this movie.


#armageddon #michaelbay #brucewillis #benaffleck #movies #film #review

S#X Acts 2012 is trying to beat Lars Von Trier at ultra-cinematic cringe

  Blender Dumbass
👁 6 💬 0


Six Acts ( or S#x Acts ) is an erotic drama horror film about a girl who is slowly realizing that she is being abused. The film feels strangely like the seduction scene in Taxi Driver but stretched out into 6 chapters, filling up a feature length movie.


#sixacts #film #review #movies #cinemastodon #sivanlevy #larsvontrier

Footnote 2011 is a suprisingly good Israeli film

  Blender Dumbass
👁 5 💬 0


Footnote originally הערת שוליים is an Israeli film written and directed by Joseph Cedar. The film is about a very strange dramatic bureaucratic situation, where two professors, a father and a son, are in the same field, and one of them gets a honorary award for his achievements. But the bureaucrats made a mistake and told about the award to the wrong one of them.


#footnote #הערתשוליים #JosephCedar #LiorAshkenazi #Israel #film #review #movies #cinemastodon #jews

Spontaneous 2020 invented a way to get horror fans to watch a teen drama.

  Blender Dumbass
👁 4 💬 0


The premise of the directorial debut of Brian Duffield ( the director of an amazing horror film about aliens called No One Will Save You ) is, on paper, very Post Cringe. It is about a class of teenagers who spontaneously explode out of nowhere, and how little those same teenagers care about the fact that their friends blow up.


#spontaneous #film #review #movies #cinemastodon #BrianDuffield

Die Hard is a phenomenal showcase of filmmaking talent

  Blender Dumbass
👁 1 💬 0


Somehow, for all these years I avoided the first ever Die Hard movie, even though I had watched the sequels. And even though the sequels are varying in quality, the first film is a fucking masterpiece.


#diehard #brucewillis #film #review #action #movies #cinemastodon

Lethal Weapon is what happens when a good screenwriter writes his first script

  Blender Dumbass
👁 5 💬 0


Directed by Richard Donner ( Superman, The Goonies ) from a script of Shane Black, Lethal Weapon is a film about cops. On the surface there is no concept to the movie what so ever. It is just simply a regular, straight forward police bromance. Yet somehow the movie moves.


#lethalweapon #film #review #movies #action #cinema #cinemastodon

28 Years Later is secretly about the UK Age Verification bullshit

  Blender Dumbass
👁 17 💬 0


Today UK is leading the way towards apocalypse when it comes to stupid, ageist child-safety bullshit. And the 2025 Danny Boyle's film 28 Years Later is secretly about that motherfucking thing.


#28yearslater #28dayslater #ageism #privacy #ageverification #UK #politics #film #movies #review #cinemastodon

Casablanca is a witty movie indeed

  Blender Dumbass
👁 2 💬 0


In 1942 ( a year after Citizen Kane ) Michael Curtiz directed a script by a few Epstein fellas. ( they were called Julius J. Epstein and Philip G. Epstein and probably had nothing to do with the Jeffery guy ) called Casablanca.


#casablanca #michaelcurtiz #humphreybogart #ingridbergman #film #review #movies #cinemastodon

The Audition 2015 is an interesting short-film, when it comes to film history

  Blender Dumbass
👁 2 💬 0


You may think that 2023 Killers of the Flower Moon is the first time Leonardo DiCaprio have worked with Robert De Niro. In fact the first time was 30 years earlier in 1993 with This Boy's Life. Yet a lot of people will suggest Killers of the Flower Moon is still at least the first time both DiCaprio and De Niro worked with Martin Scorsese. That is also not true. That would be 2015's short-film, directed by Scorsese called The Audition.


#theaudition #martinscorsese #leonardodicaprio #robertdeniro #bradpitt #film #review #movies #shortfilm #vfx #cinemastodon

Citizen Kane feels like a Scorsese picture

  Blender Dumbass
👁 4 💬 1


Orson Welles ( born in 1915 ) being a 25 - 26 year old flipped the cinematic landscape upside down with his 1941 black and white film Citizen Kane. A film that feels like a mandatory watch for anybody who is even remotely interested in cinema. People say that Citizen Kane is the best film ever made and stuff. Almost forcing that film onto people in an uncomfortable way. Making you be sure that it is some sort of experimental, black and white extravaganza that you will not understand. And that it is way too old, for today's audience, to enjoy. And that to appreciate the qualities of the film, one needs to learn some academic bullshit and pay very strong attention, to try to understand why back in 1941 critics specifically, might have liked what they saw. The thought of watching Citizen Kane feels like homework. But then you actually watch it.


#citizenkane #orsonwelles #film #review #movies #cinemastodon #martinscorsese

Kite 2014 attempts to be a Luc Besson film but fails miserably

  Blender Dumbass
👁 16 💬 0


South African filmmakers, writer Brian Cox ( who directed some bad films himself ) and a director Ralph Ziman decided to try to adopt what appears to be a hentai ( animated pornography ) film from Japan ( with the same name ) into a cool-ass female-empowerment action flick. They even got Samuel L. Jackson ( an objectively good actor ) involved in the project somehow. Yet almost every decision made in the production of this film was a wrong decision.


#kite #film #review #movies #samuelljackson #cinemastodon

Knock Knock 2015 is more of a Lars Von Trier movie

  Blender Dumbass
👁 6 💬 1


Before there was 2025 Balerina there were two other movies ( I know of ) which were collaborations of Keanu Reeves and Ana de Armas. One is the 2016 film Exposed which I am still yet to see. And then, before that, marking their first collaboration, there was a 2015 film by Eli Roth called Knock Knock, which I was curious to see for multiple reasons.


#knockknock #eliroth #anadearmas #keanureeves #film #review #movies #cinemastodon #larsvontrier

Balerina 2025 did what Spy Kids should have but couldn't

  Blender Dumbass
👁 4 💬 2


When I reviewed Havoc I wrote about this strange feeling that I dubbed "short orgasmic blackout" when I see a stupidly serious, angry face of a female character that is really cute. And one of the most cutest actors living these days is fucking Ana de Armas. Let me illustrate. We see young Victoria Comte playing Eve ( the main character ) while being 11 ( Comte was born in 2013, do the math ), and then the film says "12 years later" so now she is 23. Yet de Armas playing her is 36 ( at the time of filming ). She plays somebody almost half her age and it works. Why? She is fucking cute! That's why. And because of that I knew I was probably getting the "short orgasmic blackout" the movie.


#balerina #johnwick #anadearmas #movies #film #review #cinemastodon #action #cinema

Spaceballs takes the Jews vs Nazis theme to a whole new sexual climax

  Blender Dumbass
👁 13 💬 1


Jewish filmmakers like to poke fun at Nazis. Spielberg did that with Indiana Jones and Mel Brooks does it here with Spaceballs. But unlike the original Star Wars for which Spaceballs is almost direct parody, Brooks goes onto another level to measure pipis with the Nazis.


#spaceballs #film #review #movies #cinemastodon #comedy #starwars #melbrooks

Havoc ( 2025 ) is a pornographically satisfying violence movie

  Blender Dumbass
👁 8 💬 0


Again I found a movie that makes me question my own ideas as a filmmaker. Havoc ( directed by Gareth Evans ) is so stylized and fucking awesome that they had to go a CGI route for a lot of the shots to even be possible in the first place. Which created a similar situation, which I discussed in my review of Shazam! 2.


#havoc #tomhardy #GarethEvans #film #review #movies #action #martialarts #cinemastodon

Novocaine is way more melodramatic than I expected

  Blender Dumbass
👁 7 💬 0


The premise of 2025 Dan Berk and Robert Olsen co-directed film Novocaine is very simple: An action adventure about a dude who doesn't feel pain. On paper it sounds like a kind of absurdist horror comedy that is constantly shocking the audiences with something that is utterly fucked up, but the joke is, the main character doesn't give a damn. And there is this, if you are looking for this, in Novocaine. But there is also more.


#novocaine #film #review #movies #cinemastodon