I Wish I Simply Had Diabetes
👁 82
https://mastodon.online/ : 👁 2
https://blenderdumbass.org/ : 👁 14
https://blenderdumbass.org/articles/we_have_to_solve_the_money_problem_ : 👁 5
https://blenderdumbass.org/articles : 👁 5
https://bloat.freesoftwareextremist.com/ : 👁 1
https://blenderdumbass.org/articles/How_They_Made_Freedom_Illegal.md : 👁 1
https://mstdn.social/ : 👁 1
https://blenderdumbass.org/articles/chat_control_violates_more_kids_than_encrypted_csam : 👁 1
![[avatar]](/pictures/favicon.png)
by Blender Dumbass
Aka: J.Y. Amihud. A Jewish by blood, multifaceted artist with experience in film-making, visual effects, programming, game development, music and more. A philosopher at heart. An activist for freedom and privacy. Anti-Paternalist. A user of Libre Software. Speaking at least 3 human languages. The writer and director of the 2023 film "Moria's Race" and the lead developer of it's game sequel "Dani's Race".
When a person breaks a leg, everybody runs to help. When a person breaks a brain, everybody runs away in fear. ↩ Reply
For the last few months or so I was getting worse and worse. From the symptoms of vertigo and headaches to insane levels of fatigue. I thought that I'm for sure sick with something very bad. c:1 ↩ Reply
The other day I looked up online for various diseases that might explain what I might have. And Diabetes ( the Sugar / Insulin problem ) had a list of symptoms that correlated closely with what I experienced. c:1 ↩ Reply
I went to work and told my boss about this new discovery of mine. And she became suddenly all kind and understanding. I was able to go earlier due to my headache and I didn't need much of convincing. If I was actually sick with Diabetes, they had to let me go. That would have been inhumane or something if they didn't. c:1 ↩ Reply
I went to a doctor to actually test my hypothesis. He ordered me to go and get a blood test. They took half of my arm worth of blood, because the doctor didn't think I might have only diabetes. He knew there were many kinds of things that have similar symptoms. So he tested me for everything. c:1 ↩ Reply
He found nothing. ↩ Reply
Based on the tests he said that I am absolutely and utterly healthy. The only negative thing in the report was claiming that I was slightly over-weight. I have a belly. But he doubted it has anything to do with anything. c:1 ↩ Reply
What he did suspect, but couldn't tell for sure, because it was not his profession to diagnose me in this way, is that I have some psychological or neurological thing. So his theory is that it is all in my head. c:1 ↩ Reply
It is possible that my life-style simply exhausts me everyday. I basically work all the time. Either on this blog, or on Dani's Race. Maybe because I don't rest enough, my body just gives up and want to force me to take a break. c:1 ↩ Reply
But then something strange happened. The other day I went to my work. Which if you don't know is to sit at a cash-register. At first I was feeling okay. I came to the desk where I would work. And then the work begun. c:1 ↩ Reply
Slowly but surely this feeling or vertigo and headaches came into me again. I felt worse and worse. c:1 ↩ Reply
Until later in the evening a person from a different part of the store asked me to come and help them there. Their work is to help people on self-checkout to understand the computer, so to speak. It involves some debugging sometimes. Immediately there was a problem with one of the computers, I suppose some part of the dumb software they are using fell into a loop and stopped responding to user-inputs. I rebooted that piece of software from the main machine. And it suddenly started working. c:1 ↩ Reply
It's nothing, as you, who probably know a thing or two about computers. But something about this task helped me. I helped one person understand something and then another. I debugged an item that would not scan. And found a code that could be used as a substitute. I explained a few people the math that the store does for the discounts. c:1 ↩ Reply
And my vertigo disappeared. I suddenly felt okay again. ↩ Reply
After an hour of that other job I came back to the cash-register where I started. But even walking towards it made me regain this vertigo. As if my brain developed an allergy to my work place. Almost immediately I just asked to go home because I felt actually really sick. Like the longer I spent on this desk the worse I felt. c:1 ↩ Reply
It was 2 days ago. I didn't go there since. I'm scared to go. ↩ Reply
I called my boss today in hopes that she can do something. Maybe she can make me go to the self-checkout place. There I didn't feel that bad. I told the whole story. But then a tone of dismissal came in from the other end. As soon as my problem was not "real" but psychological, all of a sudden I was looked down upon as some lazy bastard that doesn't want to work. Or something. c:1 ↩ Reply
She was trying to be nice. She even talked to her boss about maybe moving me to that other place permanently. But nothing was successful. She didn't get an approval. And instead she started coaching me in making good choices for myself or whatever. As soon as my problem is psychological nobody cares about me. She asked me to come try the cash-desk again. Maybe try a different one. ( We have something like 10 in the store ). I don't think I will. c:1 ↩ Reply
I Wish I Simply Had Diabetes. ↩ Reply
Happy Hacking!!! ↩ Reply
Find this post on Mastodon
![[avatar]](/pictures/user_upload/Troler/55NKGQKE7IRKMLHV.png)
Troler
c:0Maybe you subconsciously want to only program. Run a debugger of your brain, see what's wrong!
Hmm.. if blood-work didn't found anything it may mean two things:
1) tests ran on blood were too narrow (i think there are a LOT of tests in some extended package..)
or ⤴ View
2) the issue may be structural - in my case - it was the disks in my neck part of spine.. basically - I would extend my chin forward, and that limited the amount of blood coming in/out of brain - and create some nasty headaches.. sometimes for days. Same thing if sleeping in "improper" position/too long.
But of course - every brain differs.. Try to analyze correlations - what intensifies the symptoms, it could be posture, delayed reaction to food, the ink on receipts is toxic, or the high-pitched (inaudible) whine of some fan on the ceiling failing (kid You not)..
You've got awesome Detective skills: use them :)
![[thumbnail]](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/7/71/Melancholia_%282011_film_poster%29.png/220px-Melancholia_%282011_film_poster%29.png)
![[thumbnail]](/pictures/thumbs/building_108.jpg)