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by Blender Dumbass
Aka: J.Y. Amihud. A Jewish by blood, multifaceted artist with experience in film-making, visual effects, programming, game development, music and more. A philosopher at heart. An activist for freedom and privacy. Anti-Paternalist. A user of Libre Software. Speaking at least 3 human languages. The writer and director of the 2023 film "Moria's Race" and the lead developer of it's game sequel "Dani's Race".
13 Minute Read
If you have seen Kick-Ass from 2010, you know that the biggest and most important element of the movie is... Wait... I just realized. It's the beginning of the review and it will be in all of the previews with links to it, and stuff, and I still want you to click onto the damn thing. So the most important element in the movie is not...
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... Kick-Ass but Mindy McCready, aka Hit-Girl ( Chloë Grace Moretz ). Think about it. Kick-Ass, yes, is technically the main character of the film. But pretty much the best scenes, the best stunts, the best emotional beats, and arguably most of the screen-time is dedicated to Hit-Girl and her father Bigus Dickus. Sorry, "Big Daddy" ( Nicolas Cage ).
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Though it is funny that when she tells Dave ( Kick-Ass ) about how to call them, she does a Bat-man related joke, where the bat sign is a large penis. Thinking about it a bit more through, and seeing that Nicolas Cage's costume is a direct rip-off of Batman's. And that bat symbol in batman represents batman himself ( in a way ). We can conclude that BD on his belt actually stands for "Blender Dumbass"... sorry... "Big Dick"! And "Big Daddy" is just a coverup name.
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So Matthew Vaughn picks up the Kick-Ass comic-books and decides to adopt it. Co-writing ( with his usual collaborator Jane Goldman ) a screen-adaptation for Kick-Ass where most of the good parts are given to a little killer girl.
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Then an interesting thing happens. According to the wikipedia about Hit-Girl, Matthew Vaughn gets fucking paranoid, thinking that people will kill his ass for making this movie with this character. Matthew Vaughn gets fucking paranoid? With such a good character? And then gets utterly surprised when she is loved by fans? What? That is interesting...
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Also interesting, that Chloë Grace Moretz was inspired to take the role of Hit-Girl from a little Timur Bekmambetov movie Wanted. The shier insanity of it, combined with the shier bad-assery of the Angelina Jolie character in it, made little Chloë want to be an equal bad-ass, and Matthew Vaughn made this dream come true.
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I remember seeing Wanted and I remember seeing Kick-Ass for the first time. And I also remember finding out that Chloë Grace Moretz is only like a few months older than me. We are literally the same age ( which makes Chloë Grace Moretz the same age with Destry Spielberg, but that's besides the point ). So for some time I had to see everything she does, because my little me had a cyber-crash on that girl.
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Chloë Grace Moretz was my film-school. I learned about Martin Scorsese because of his film Hugo where she was. I learned about Bryan DePalma because of a remake of Carrie where Carrie is played by Chloë Grace Moretz. I learned and utterly fell in love with the directing style of Matt Reeves because of Let Me In ( the American remake of Let the Right one In ), because it has Chloë Grace Moretz as the vampire girl.
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Knowing how much I loved the R-Rated ultra-violent Bekmambetov film Wanted as a small child, and how much it inspired me to become a film-maker, it is kind of interesting the Bekmambetov also inspired my, then, cyber-crush too.
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But alas, Chloë Grace Moretz is a lesbian ( or maybe a bi, kind of like Destry Spielberg, which is besides the point ). And I do have a girl-friend now. I suppose I can close this cyber-crush chapter, and focus more on a psycho-sexual analysis of Matthew Vaughn ( the writer / director of Kick-Ass ).
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There is a scene in the middle of Kick-Ass where Kick-Ass and Big-Daddy are captured by the mafia and are tortured on a live-stream event. And Dave's ( Kick-Ass's ) friends are watching said live-stream, not knowing that this is their friend.
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Suddenly Hit-Girl comes out of nowhere and kills everyone in a sublime action scene, directed with utmost panaje. One of the Dave's friends, Todd Haynes, then utters that he is in love with her. While the other points out that she is like 11. To which Todd answers that he will wait.
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If you know the sequel, there is a scene where Hit-Girl ( a young teenager by that point ) gives a french-kiss to Kick-Ass himself. So that Todd character didn't get the girl... Kick-Ass did. Dave did. Or more like the actor that played Dave ( Aaron Taylor-Johnson ) did.
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Here is an interesting think about Aaron Taylor-Johnson and Todd's actor Evan Peters. They are playing the same character in the MCU.
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Before Disney bought 20 Century Fox, the rights to X-Men characters belonged to 20 Century, while the rest of Marvel belonged to Disney. So X-Men films were a separate franchise.
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In 2015 for Avengers: Age of Ultron the MCU needed 2 of those X-Men characters to adopt the comic-book story-line. So they made an interesting trick. They slightly changed those characters, so that their abilities stayed the same, while, on paper, those were not X-Men characters.
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Specifically there is a character in X-Men called Quicksilver, who's super-power is to run very fast and stuff. Kind of like DC's Flash. Aaron Taylor-Johnson played the version of Quicksilver for the MCU, while Evan Peters played the actual Quicksilver in an X-Men movie Days of Future Past at about the same time.
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Interesting...
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Both Quicksilvers ( those with an ability of super-speed ) had a crush, or a relationship of some kind, with a girl that grew up too fast, Hit-Girl.
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But the weirdness doesn't stop there.
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Who's the guy responsible for the X-Men franchise?
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Well it's Bryan Singer. The same Bryan Singer with a laundry list of sexual abuse allegations. And it was Bryan Singer who directed Days of Future Past. And who ultimately was responsible to bring Evan Peters to play Quicksilver.
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Funny enough, but a previous film in that franchise X-Men: First Class was directed by Matthew Vaughn, the director of Kick-Ass. But he had to leave the director's chair on Days of Future Past and return it to Bryan Singer ( who directed most X-Men films ), because Vaughn had to make a little movie called Kingsman: The Secret Service. Which is interesting in the context.
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Kingsman: The Secret Service stars Taron Egerton as a spy-teen. Yes, Kingsman is kind of a very soft version of whatever Robert Rodriguez did with Spy Kids. Soft, because they are teenagers. Not little kids.
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In any case, Taron Egerton also appears in a movie called She Rides Shotgun from 2025, where Ana Sophia Heger busts her ass off to get an Oscar ( which was not given to her, and its a crime ) to play a kind of softer, more realistic version of Hit-Girl. She is a little girl that shoots guns and gets into action scenes with her father. And her hair style resembles the wig that Hit-Girl is wearing through-out Kick-Ass. Which in itself was inspired by Matilda from Leon: The Professional.
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Let's close the loop and proceed to a theory.
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Before Matthew Vaughn became a director he was a producer on films like Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, Snatch and Swept Away which were written and directed by Guy Ritchie. In 2004 Vaughn transitioned to directing with Layer Cake ( a very Guy Ritchie-esque film ), while Guy Ritchie and Luc Besson ( the writer and director of Leon: The Professional ), made a movie together called Revolver.
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So the theory:
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Again, I'm taking it out of my ass.
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Luc Besson during his relationship with a still underage Maïwenn Le Besco decided to make a movie that shows their relationship in a good light. He would later bullshit people that the movie needed a little girl for Leon's development. But according to the Maïwenn's personal account of the story, the project was always about them and their relationship.
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Even the names of the characters "Leon" and "Matilda" were not incidental. "Leon" starts with L, which is a reference to "Luc", from Luc Besson. And "Matilda" starts with an M, which is a reference to Maïwenn.
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Luc Besson with his unbounded genius decided to turn Matilda into the fucking hottest babe he could try to achieve without breaking the literal law. That is why she looks the way she looks in the film. And that is why she has the hair-style that she has. Luc Besson found that hairstyle hot. Notice how even Lucy in Lucy, some fetish dresses of Anna from Anna and one sexy look of the main female character in Besson's June and John have similar hair-styles.
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After the emotional fiasco which was his 1997 project The Fifth Element during which he dumped Maïwenn for a different girl in the same age Milla Jovovich, and after Milla Jovovich dumped him a few years later, Luc Besson entered his depression years, as he realized what a fucking idiot he was, dumping Maïwenn.
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I go into it in more details in my review of Revolver, but long story short, Luc Besson decided to make Revolver with Guy Ritchie because both of them fell down at the time. And the movie was their respective therapy sessions.
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Given the fact that Matthew Vaughn hanged out with Guy Ritchie in the same time, we can theorize that Matthew Vaughn at least knew Luc Besson. If not had extensive conversations with the man. And apparently a certain part within Matthew Vaughn couldn't sleep well with Matilda never actually killing anyone in Leon. Luc Besson intended Leon to be a simple love story, but he ended up, nonetheless, making a fetish movie, a "corruption of the audience" movie, where the corruption / fetish was not full, because Matilda didn't kill nobody. Even in the extended cut, the most she does is spray bad guys with red paint, while Leon is the one actually shooting them dead.
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So Matthew Vaughn got obsessed with making any movie where this fetish will be full. And he did just that with Kick-Ass.
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Slight tangent. Nicolas Cage who plays Mindy's father in Kick-Ass is a part of the Coppola family. His real name is Nicolas Kim Coppola. He is a nephew of Francis Ford Coppola and a cousin of Sophia Coppola, Roman Coppola and Jason Schwartzman. Sophia made a movie called Lost in Translation where Scarlett Johansson ( who played Lucy in Luc Besson's Lucy ) is a young girl that falls in love with a far older gentleman played by Bill Murray. Then in 2023 she makes another movie, this time about the relationship of Elvis Presley ( 24 ) and Priscilla Beaulieu ( 14 ).
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Roman Coppola is known for co-writing films with Wes Anderson. A director that refuses to make his child characters to be anywhere near child-like. Specifically Roman Coppola co-wrote Moonrise Kingdom which has a scene that goes so close to breaking the ( child-pornography) law that it smells of conspiracy.
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And Jason Schwartzman, is, you know, in Scott Pillgrim.
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Another slight tangent: Aaron Taylor-Johnson ( that plays Kick-Ass ) at age 18 ( officially, at least ) started dating a 41 year old Sam Taylor-Johnson ( the Taylor in Taylor-Johnson belongs to Sam ). Who he is still married to to this day. Kick-Ass happened around the same time. Which explains his absolute commitment to this movie and to the kiss with Hit-Girl in the second film. He and his wife Sam, is the type of Luc and Maïwenn story that actually ended with a happy-ending.
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After Kick-Ass was a success Matthew Vaughn decided to try and add the missing fetish to the Spy-Kids franchise, but chickened out making the kids actually kids. They are instead teenagers in Kingsman. But Taron Egerton ( who played the main character in Kingsman ) got the idea ( on some emotional level ) and produced She Rides Shotgun. Where little Ana Sophia Heger ( who has the Luc Besson fetish hair-cut, inspired probably by Kick-Ass which itself was probably inspired by Leon ) is going back to the more emotional realism of something like Leon.
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And the fact that Bryan Fucking singer is somehow related to this whole thing just makes me think that it is all just one huge conspiracy.
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Think about it. The mentor spy character in Kingsman is played by Colin Firth. The same Colin Firth that plays the spy character in Steven Spielberg's Disclosure Day.
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Happy Hacking!!!
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Layer Cake 2004 explains Kingsman
![[thumbnail]](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/e/e8/Layer_Cake_Poster.JPG/250px-Layer_Cake_Poster.JPG)
Blender Dumbass
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In my review of She Rides Shotgun I briefly commented on the performance of Taron Egerton who you may know from the 2014 British Spy film Kingsman: The Secret Service by Matthew Vaughn. Today I gonna present to you a sort of half assed theory about how Kingsman happened due to a different Matthew Vaughn picture: 2004 Layer Cake. And alternatively how Tarantino brought to us the Daniel Craig era of James Bond.
#layercake #DanielCraig #MatthewVaughn #JamesBond #film #review #movies #cinemastodon
Foxtrot 2017 is a weird surrealistic tale
![[thumbnail]](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/d/db/Foxtrot_%282017_film%29.jpg/250px-Foxtrot_%282017_film%29.jpg)
Blender Dumbass
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Watching Foxtrot ( a film by Samuel Maoz ) I felt a strange feeling. The film moves and feels like surrealistic horror movies by directors like Nicolas Winding Refn and Panos Cosmatos, yet the film is not a horror. It is a drama.
#foxtrot #film #review #movies #cinemastodon
True Lies 1994 is James Cameron doing a Michael Bay movie
![[thumbnail]](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/8/81/True_Lies_poster.png)
Blender Dumbass
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1994 film True Lies feels like watching a James Cameron directed Michael Bay movie. It has explosions, check, it has outlandish set pieces, check, it has beautiful shots of the military, check, it has sexy ladies, check, it has teenagers with an attitude, check. It is a Michael Bay movie through and through. Yet it is a James Cameron movie, so what happened?
#TrueLies #JamesCameron #ArnoldSchwarzenegger #film #review #movies #cinemastodon
Le Dernier Combat 1983 doesn't need subtitles
![[thumbnail]](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/3/35/Le_Dernier_Combat.jpg/250px-Le_Dernier_Combat.jpg)
Blender Dumbass
👁 38 💬 2
French 1983 Luc Besson film Le Dernier Combat has 2 spoken words throughout its 1 and a half hour runtime. Both of those words are Bonjour, which I bet you already know the meaning of. The film is about a post-apocalypse future where humans lost the ability to talk. The one time two characters in the film have an exchange of Bonjours doesn't even require the understanding of the word to get the impact. It's about them finally being able to utter a word. It is not about them exchanging information.
#LeDernierCombat #LucBesson #Feminism #politics #film #review #movies #cinemastodon
Ballerina 2025 did what Spy Kids should have but couldn't
![[thumbnail]](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/f/f6/Ballerina_%282025_film%29_poster.jpg/250px-Ballerina_%282025_film%29_poster.jpg)
Blender Dumbass
👁 11 💬 2
When I reviewed Havoc I wrote about this strange feeling that I dubbed "short orgasmic blackout" when I see a stupidly serious, angry face of a female character that is really cute. And one of the most cutest actors living these days is fucking Ana de Armas. Let me illustrate. We see young Victoria Comte playing Eve ( the main character ) while being 11 ( Comte was born in 2013, do the math ), and then the film says "12 years later" so now she is 23. Yet de Armas playing her is 36 ( at the time of filming ). She plays somebody almost half her age and it works. Why? She is fucking cute! That's why. And because of that I knew I was probably getting the "short orgasmic blackout" the movie.
#balerina #johnwick #anadearmas #movies #film #review #cinemastodon #action #cinema
Death Wish 1974 is a Superhero movie
![[thumbnail]](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/f/f0/Death_wish_movie_poster.jpg)
Blender Dumbass
👁 11 💬 1
Who is this character, who's family suffered from the hands of lawless criminals, and who wanders the nights in search for some of those criminals, to have his revenge? Who is this character, who is a wealthy gentleman during the day, while the "vengeance" itself during the night? Batman? No... it is Paul Kersey played by Charles Bronson in a Michael Winner 1974 film Death Wish.
#deathwish #charlesbronson #film #review #movies #cinemastodon
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