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[icon reviews]The Island 2005 is Michael Bay's Minority Report

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[avatar]  Blender Dumbass

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As far as my speculation goes, I think, it is safe to assume, the following happened: In 1994 ( before doing Bad Boys ) Michael Bay signed a 10 year contract with Jerry Bruckheimer which expired in 2004 ( after Bad Boys 2 ). Knowing that the contract is about to expire, 2 years prior ( in 2002 ) Steven Spielberg, in an attempt to get on good terms with Michael Bay, added a small reference to Bad Boys into his film Minority Report. And then took Bay under his supervision for the next 10 years. Starting with the 2005 film The Island. And through the Transformers franchise. Bay returned the favor by showing a concept car designed for Minority Report ( Lexus 2054 aka Lexus Minority ) multiple times in the background of The Island. Still that's just a theory. I don't actually know what happened. But it seems plausible.


#theIsland #MichaelBay #film #review #movies #cinemastodon


[icon reviews]Lucy 2014 Pretentious or Profound ?

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[avatar]  Blender Dumbass

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On the surface level 2014 Luc Besson film Lucy starring Scarlett Johansson is a scientific thesis that is trying to say some grand truth about the world, while pretending to be an action film, to make people go see it. On the other hand though, it is an action film that injects a lot of profound-sounding pretentious pseudo scientific bullshit, to make itself appear as something better than it is: a dumb action movie. Which one of them is it? Or did I miss something?


#lucy #lucbesson #ScarlettJohansson #film #review #movies #cinemastodon


[icon reviews]13 Hours is Michael Bay at his most serious

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[avatar]  Blender Dumbass

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There are two modes for Michael Bay: The playful mode of him having fun. This is the Bay of Bad Boys and Transformers. And a serious mode. That is the Michael Bay of films like Ambulance, Pearl Harbor and 13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi. The latter of which is his most serious film ever.


#MichaelBay #13Hours #Benghazi #film #review #movies #cinemastodon #juliabutters


[icon reviews]Pearl Harbor 2001 made me cry for 3 hours straight

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[avatar]  Blender Dumbass

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In my review of Bad Boys II I talked about how Michael Bay needed to discharge from Pearl Harbor and do a properly Bayhem! movie. This speculation of mine is largely based on some stories from the set of this movie, where it looked like Bay tried to actually make a properly directed film in the very beginning and then suddenly snapped and started setting up Bayhem! shots out of nowhere in the middle of production. And when people pointed that out to him he told them to "Shut the fuck up" and that he "knows what he is doing".


#PearlHarbor #MichaelBay #movies #film #review #cinemastodon


[icon reviews]The Rock 1996 is Michael Bay's James Bond movie

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[avatar]  Blender Dumbass

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The Rock by Michael Bay is about an FBI chemist agent ( Nicolas Cage ) who calls for help from an old retired British Intelligence Agent played by Sean Connery himself. No wander there are theories that this agent character could be James Bond, making this film a kind of unofficial Bayhem!ed sequel to Connery Bond films. It's not like he didn't play James Bond outside of the main franchise. He did play James Bond in Never Say Never Again which is a real James Bond film, which is not a part of the main franchise. So maybe, possibly, he did that again here too. We will never know.


#TheRock #MichaelBay #NicolasCage #JamesBond #SeanConnery #QuentinTarantino #film #review #movies #cinemastodon


[icon reviews]Bad Boys 1995 is a Tarantino picture gone Bayhem!

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[avatar]  Blender Dumbass

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The first thing you notice when watching Michael Bay's directorial debut Bad Boys is that the movie is not trying to be a Michael Bay film. There was no Michael Bay films prior to it. Bay was doing music videos and commercials before this film. And while those do have some of the style Bay will eventually bring over to his cinema pictures, here it seems he is actually trying something else entirely. The best analogy for the movie would be Tony Scott's 1993 film True Romance written by Quentin Tarantino.


#badboys #michaelbay #willsmith #film #review #movies #cinemastodon


[icon reviews]Black Swan 2010 is Aronofsky trying to outcompete Charlie Kaufman

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[avatar]  Blender Dumbass

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2002 Spike Jonze film Adaptation ( written by Charlie Kaufman ) is a story about a guy named Charlie Kaufman who is tasked with adapting an article about flowers into a Hollywood picture. And the best he can do is to make a meta-adaptation, where the movie you are watching is the story of writing the movie you are watching. 2010 Darren Aronofsky film Black Swan is a similar kind of meta-adaptation, this time of a Swan Lake ( Π›Π΅Π±Π΅Π΄ΠΈΠ½ΠΎΠ΅ ΠΎΠ·Π΅Ρ€ΠΎ ) by Tchaikovsky. While in the same time being a movie about adopting Swan Lake.


#blackswan #swanlake #natalieportman #darrenaronofsky #film #movies #review #cinemastodon


[icon reviews]Backdraft 1991 is a HOT film

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[avatar]  Blender Dumbass

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Ron Howard is a hell of a director. He knows how to get the image that he wants. And he knows how to do it so that it will hold up practically forever. His 1991 fire-fighters movie Backdraft is not an exception. The fire sequences are so real and so visceral in this film, despite being done 3 decades ago, that perhaps this film is even better when it comes to planning shots that hold up than his Apollo 13 movie ( where he used real weightlessness to shoot the space scenes ).


#backdraft #firemen #firefighters #fire #movies #cinema #ronhoward #film #review #cinemastodon


[icon reviews]Rush 2013 is not the same as F1 2025

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[avatar]  Blender Dumbass

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After seeing a somewhat of a racing movie called American Graffiti starring Ron Howard, the next movie to watch was an obvious choice. A directed by Ron Howard 2013 racing film called Rush, which might feel like a predecessor of 2025's Joseph Kosinski film F1. But watching it I found this movie to be closer to Scorsese's The Wolf Of Wall Street rather than F1.


#rush #racing #ronhoward #film #review #movies #cinemastodon


[icon reviews]American Graffiti 1973 is some strong shit

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[avatar]  Blender Dumbass

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You will probably laugh at me right now, but so far I've seen 1973 George Lucas film American Graffiti just twice. First time I stopped at about 25 minute mark, not getting the hype around the movie. This time I decided to get through to the end, no matter what it takes. And believe me, if you are not laughing at me right now, you don't understand. This is fucked up! Holy fucking shit!!! I see it now!!! I see it!



#americanGrafitti #GeorgeLucas #HarrisonFord #movies #film #review #cinemastodon


[icon reviews]Cleaner 2025 is a feminist take on Die Hard

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[avatar]  Blender Dumbass

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I heard bad things about Martin Campbell's 2025 film Cleaner starring Daisy Ridley. People found this movie dull or whatever. And then I found out that the director was indeed Martin Campbell, the guy who brought us films like Mask of Zorro and a some of the good James Bond films, like Casino Royal ( arguably the best film in the 007 franchise ). The bad things people say and the director's reputation didn't make sense together. I had to see for myself what the fuss is all about.


#cleaner #DaisyRidley #MartinCampbell #DieHard #movies #film #review #cinemastodon


[icon reviews]Flight Risk 2025 is Mel Gibson failing to be Robert Rodriguez

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[avatar]  Blender Dumbass

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The first shot of the 2025 thriller directed by Mel Gibson called Flight Risk is an establishing shot of a location you might see on television, which already says a lot about the movie. But that's not all of it. The shot is also very much computer-generated. I wouldn't say it's Ai ( but anything's possible ). It looks more like a 2D composition using various elements. A modern matte-painting of sorts. It's hard to point out specifically what's wrong with it, but it looks obviously fake. And obviously put together on a computer. And then the rest of the film doesn't really shake off this fakeness.


#flightrisk #melgibson #markwahlberg #film #review #movies #cinemastodon


[icon reviews]Pain & Gain is the most Lars Von Trier Michael Bay ever been

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[avatar]  Blender Dumbass

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In my review of Ambulance I argued that Michael Bay is the Lars Von Trier of action. And now I gonna argue that Pain & Gain ( his 2013 crime comedy ) is the most Lars Von Trier he ever been.



#painandgain #film #review #movies #cinemastodon #dwaynejohnson #markwahlberg #anthonymackie


[icon reviews]Alien VS Predator 2004 is a Predator 2 sequel

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[avatar]  Blender Dumbass

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In my Predator 2 review I observed that the merger of Alien and Predator franchises was not a Paul W. S. Anderson's ( the director of AVP ) fault, since even that movie already had a lot of Alien references in it, including a Xenomorph scull. So it was almost expected by this point that the next movie in the franchise would feature Xenomorphs.


#Alien #predator #AVP #film #review #horror #movies #cinemastodon


[icon reviews]Predator 2 ( 1990 ) is a Predator, Alien and Lethal Weapon sequel all at once

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[avatar]  Blender Dumbass

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#predator #alien #horror #action #film #review #movies #cinemastodon


[icon reviews]Dressed To Kill 1980 is a cinematic treat

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[avatar]  Blender Dumbass

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I saw an interview where Quentin Tarantino praises the 1980 Hitchcockian Bryan de Palma film Dressed to Kill. And now after actually watching it myself, I can totally understand why.



#dressedtokill #bryandepalma #film #review #movies #cinemastodon



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